Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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