after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
