he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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