One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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