Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
