yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
