I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I think I sprained my soul last night
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
