She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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