Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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