Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Randomize
