this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
