it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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