dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
