You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize