remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
