doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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