You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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