D3 body, D1 cock
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
