I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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