also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just high enough for therapy.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
