Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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