she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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