she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
