I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
