Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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