You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
