On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
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