No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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