What did we do last night that was yellow?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
