btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
