is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
