I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize