why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
