Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
