bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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