Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
As shirtless as possible
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
