What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
