Having a random hookup so left but love u
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
