It's Friday. Sex?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
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