I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
