Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
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