Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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