i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
