he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
