I like my sex mixed with concussions.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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