I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
