Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
