stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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