u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i think i have herpe
just one?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
