Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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