this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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