She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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