everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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