whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
