im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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