plz talk dirty to me
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
