I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
50% drunk capacity currently
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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