I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
