how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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