And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
