Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
