There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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