is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
