fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
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If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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