Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
