I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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