R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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