I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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