I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
