please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
